Shower of Love!
Most of my close friends & family know that I've been planning my baby shower for years! I love to plan parties and I'm very specific when it comes to details and execution. Everything from the decor, the food, & cake was phenomenal! My favorite part was the prayer circle & when I handed out roses to all the people who have been so supportive to me over the past couple months.
The shower actually capped off a rough week for me. I had been anticipating the 3d ultrasound which I had scheduled months in advance. My stomach was in knots all day from the anticipation. When I got down on my knees at work to pray before I left for my appt, I allowed the devil to show me images of a lifeless baby foot. When we arrived at the appointment, the ultrasound tech advised us that she couldn't see Mylah's face because she was covered by her hands & her feet. She was balled up so the ultrasound was unsuccessful but she said that we could try again this week. I tried to hold back the tears, but during the ultrasound she shook my stomach so hard trying to get Mylah to move but she woudn't budge and it was one more disappointment. I was kind of mad at myself because I had allowed myself to get excited but once again another appointment didn't go as planned. I cried all night and went to work the next day just emotionally drained.
While I was at work I had a break down because I just couldn't understand why nothing was going in our favor. This struggle reminded me that there is a possibility that I may not get to meet my daughter alive & that devastated me. I began to wonder what I may have done in my past that has allowed my daughter to have to go thru this. I was just in so much pain. A few friends at work gathered around me & cried with me & prayed for me. I cried for about an hour but slowly began to get it together.
That same day, I had some negativity said about my child & the shower that really upset me but soon after I realized that this wouldn't be a fight if the devil wasn't trying to stop me from fighting for my daughter. The person who said these negative things has a reputation for being a negative person. I've actually supported this person through her own personal tragedy but sometimes when people are miserable they want others to be miserable with them and they get satisfaction from seeing others struggle or go through a bad/hard time. Considering the source of this negativity it did nothing but make me stronger & ready for round 2 and I will pray that GOD removes the negative spirit from this person.
So the shower came at the perfect time. Months ago when I put the deposit on the hall I worried that weather would be a big factor in the number of people that showed up. Well weather wasn't a issue at all, it was unseasonably warm for a January in Michigan. I then worried about people just not showing up because it wasn't important to them & given the circumstances maybe they didn't understand why we were having a shower, but boy was I wrong. The hall was full of our family & friends. People came from out of town just to attend our celebration for Mylah. The whole night I was in awe of the number of people that showed up to support us. The night was more than I ever expected, the only thing I regret was not taking more pictures with people.
I'm so thankful for the people that GOD has placed in my life. Saturday really showed me how much Juwan, Mylah & I are loved & we love every person who was in attendance.