I have no regrets. None. If the hands of time were to turn back again, my decisions would be the same.
Today we celebrated 3 years of LIFE. Life that some were so sure would never come to be. Life that was deemed as unworthy and incompatible. Death was guaranteed though her heart beat with the rhythm of God's favor.
3 years ago, I was facing an abundance of emotions. Those emotions have since changed. Sadness became happiness, worry has transformed into an eagerness to learn, anger manifested into passion for advocacy in speaking for those who have no voice, and fear increased strength in me I never knew I had.
3 years ago, we were so unsure. We didn't know if we would get to celebrate milestones or be proud of accomplishments. We were not sure if "normal" was going to be something that we lived daily. It was hard during those times. We wanted to stay positive and faithful, but worry and negativity were sometimes right in our face. If things did not go as planned, we had an idea of how those plans would play out, but the young lady at the funeral home told us we would not need them. As time grew closer, fear grew stronger, faith increased higher than before.
Then GOD blessed me with my greatest joy. The happiest memory of my life. While we were fighting for her life on the outside, she had been fighting on the inside. Fighting to live. fighting to breathe, fighting to see what this world was made of. She didn't know how cruel this world could be.. or maybe she did. GOD sent her completely prepared. He gave her favor to travel her journey. He equipped her with the resilience that only a child like her could have. He knew her in the womb and it was my womb that he placed her in. He hand picked us for one another. When one of us was down, the other was there to continue on in the race. Never looking back, only forward. Never giving up, but pushing against adversity.
When people spoke negatively it only made us stronger and more determined to prove them wrong.
GOD never left our side. He was there before we even started to travel this bumpy road. He knew the detours of this journey and had the road mapped well in advance. Even when we wanted to go our own way, he put us back on the trail that led to HIM.
In the last 3 years, I have loved, prayed, cried, laughed and smiled more than ever before. I have learned what it means to Live for today and love unconditionally.
My Dearest Mylah,
I didn't know what was in GOD's plan for me. In you, he blessed me with joy, love, faith, strength and courage. My life is better because of you, I have purpose and hope that never fades. You have taught me so much more in the last 3 years than this world could try and teach in a lifetime. I never knew the amount of love one could give to another until I had you.
You are the strongest person I know. Your smile makes all worries and concerns I have go away. I admire your determination and courage and I thank GOD for blessing us with each other.
Mylah, thank you for never giving up on me. I hope you know I won't ever give up on you.
Love your mommy.