Have You Ever Wondered...
There are times(usually on those bad days) when I find myself asking "why me?" Why after almost 2 years of trying to get pregnant, is my baby the one diagnosed with Trisomy 18? It seems like people all around me are getting pregnant & having babies that are healthy but mine is the one doctors say won't make it to her 1st birthday. Everyday I watch the news and it seems like there are more & more parents killing their children & it hurts so bad because I'm reminded that there are people being blessed with children who don't deserve the blessing they've received.
I actually feel that like marriage, people get so caught up in the "idea" & the hoopla of being pregnant that they fail to realize that they will soon bring a human being into this world that must be cared for. Raising a child takes more than just love and I feel that some think having a baby is a game. Especially when it comes so easy to some.
My friend & I were discussing at dinner how trials & tragedies can make you have bitter feelings towards others & in those times you can begin to pass judgement on other people & their situations.
Since Mylah's diagnosis there have been many times that I have turned up my nose when I've seen a young pregnant girl; because she couldn't possibly realize how blessed she is; she probably is going to be on welfare; I doubt she has a job; She's probably living with her parents & can't support that baby, but I bet she'll have a perfectly healthy baby.
I would be lying if I said I've only done this once but then realized What God Has For Me, Is For Me & that includes trials & tribulations.
During this discussion with my friend who has experienced a loss , I learned that she had done the same thing as me, passed judgement. But we both realized that you can't judge others based on what you see. I have a quote that I love " You never know what story the pages of one's life may tell" & this is so true. My friend & I have both realized that you can't allow your sorrows & frustrations to turn you into a bitter person. Being bitter doesn't help your situation because it allows you to sit in this "funk" as we say & you may miss the blessing that GOD has for you because you are too focused on others & the "Why Me".
Now, when I see someone who is pregnant I say a quick prayer in passing & I ask GOD to bless their baby, bless their life, bless their finances, and open up their eyes to realize the blessing he has given them in the child that they are carrying. I don't carry bitter feelings, I don't say "why me". I simple say Amen & keep on walking with my head high and I feel better for it.