Friday, May 29, 2015

Steel

D. The most important properties of steel are great formability and durability, good tensile and yield strength and good thermal conductivity. As well as these important properties the most characteristic of the stainless steel properties is its resistance to corrosion


The traditional gift for an 11th wedding anniversary is steel. On Saturday, May 29th, 2004 I stood in front of friends and family and accepted into a union with my then finance'.  Him, 27. Me, 23. 

Young, unbothered, free spirited, eager, determined, and looking towards our future together. 

In our first year of marriage I went back to my parents house. Twice. The third time I just slept on the couch at home and some nights he did. After the second time leaving, I said I wouldn't call my parents or leave every time we argued. I wanted to work on our problems. 

There were days when I wasn't sure we would make it to our 5th. It was new for the both of us. Raised by my mother and father; his grandmother and grandfather were responsible in his upbringing. I was the oldest of 3 girls and he was the only child. I was outgoing, he preferred to be home.  

The most important properties of steel are great formability and durability. Formability is an evaluation of how much deformation something can undergo before failure.  If something is durable it is able to withstand wear, pressure, and damage. The tensile strength is the maximum amount of stress you can place on something before it breaks. Corrosion can be defined as degradation of something due to a reaction with the environment

Steel-Strong & Durable. A great representation of what our marriage has been for the last 11 years.  We have been through some tough times and I'm sure more hard days will come, but the tensile strength of our marriage is secured by GOD. What has broken many unions and could have dissolved ours has forced us to love each other more. When traveling through married life, its normal to want to do the opposite of what your spouse prefers but its better to compromise and share an understanding and appreciation of the sacrifices one makes for the other. 

Bringing together individuals from different backgrounds will involve tension of some sort. If left unaddressed, that tension can create an environment where love cannot thrive and life cannot not survive in a loveless union. 

Outside influences will adversely affect the union if they are allowed to dwell; which could lead to the corrosion of the bond that joins the two lives. 

Marriage is not easy. It is something that takes years to work on. Those who have been joined for over 20 years will say that they work on their marriages daily. Weddings are the ceremony that brings the two lives together, but after the wedding is over the marriage remains. Work Hard. Love Harder. Don't be to proud to say you are sorry. Admit when you are wrong. Express your love often. Have FUN! 

Pray. Pray. Pray. 

The third person in the marriage should be GOD, not his mother & not your father and not your friends. Take all your cares and worries to GOD in prayer. Pray together. Pray separately. Husbands, pray for your wives. Wives, pray for your husbands. GOD will keep you just as he has kept us. 

I am thankful for the last 11 years that I have shared with Juwan. I am grateful for both the good times and the bad times. I am thankful for the arguments and the disagreements. I cherish the memories that we've created and I look forward to the memories to come. 


Happy 11th Anniversary Juwan! 



















Sunday, May 10, 2015

Mothering

Nurture. Care. Discipline. Mentor. Lead. Cheer. Advocate. Teach. Love.

Just a small list of what mothers do each day.

Being a mother is the hardest job I've ever had, but it is the most rewarding.

I remember the emotions from 5 years ago. Feeling lonely, lost, confused, and defeated. I wondered if motherhood was even in the plan for me. At one point I accepted the fact that GOD had a different blueprint for my life than what I thought he had. When Juwan and I were trying to conceive, each month the negative pregnancy tests would steal away the joy & hope that I held on to.
Mother just wasn't a title that I was supposed to have and after almost 2 years, I was starting to be okay with that.

Finding out about Mylah was one of the best days of my life. I had become accustomed to the negative results, that I couldn't accept the positive outcome. I recall not coming to terms with the fact that I was carrying a child until that fateful anatomy ultrasound appointment.

Some people may not realize it but mothering doesn't start at birth, it begins way before conception for some. When a woman is doing things to help prepare her body to carry a child; taking vitamins, eating healthy, exercising, and trying to educate herself, she is already mothering.

Mothering is not easy. It takes sacrifice and dedication. It means going places that we may not want to go, and for some it could mean inside the hospital walls.

Mothering is rewarding. It's rewarded in the accomplishments of your child. When they learn to say their ABC's, spell their name, recite an Easter speech that you've help them practice for weeks. When your son graduates at the top of his class, or your daughter is a stand out athlete, mom's are celebrated too.

Mothering brings about a range of emotions. Some good, some bad, but LOVE is available unconditionally. Moms know about mistakes and heartbreak. Mama knows what it means to never give up and that tomorrow you can start all over again. Mother's know that they can never give up, even on days when it seems like she can't take anymore because you have someone looking for you to get the job done.

When GOD decided to give me the title of Mother, HE must have thought really highly of me. HE must have known that I would try my best to give her all that I could. HE knew that I would be determined to do whatever I needed to do in order to help her LIVE.  HE knew that some days I would sit and cry because I knew I may never get to hear her say my name, but HE understood that I would celebrate her every breathing moment and all her achievements both big and small.  HE appreciated the determination I would have when it came to making decisions about her well being. HE knew she would be perfect for me.

GOD chose each mother for their children because HE knew that one needed the other. Our children teach us how to love and have patience. They show us how to enjoy life and rejoice in the small moments.

Mothering is about teaching, but it is also about learning.

Learning to love, live, hope and dream.

Mothering is knowing that you have done all you can and that when you release your children to the world, each day someone encounters a direct reflection of you and your years of hard work and dedication.

Happy Mother's Day to all those with the title of Mother. To those women who have stepped up in the absence to fill in the gap. To those women who sacrifice daily so that their children can do great things in their own lives. I applaud you!

Today is not a joyous day for many. Some women are longing to become a mother and struggling with infertility. Many are struggling with the reality of losing children to miscarriage or abortion.  I pray that your season of peace is upon you.

To those mothers whose children have been given their wings. I pray that memories of time spent finds you and grants you peace today.

To those children who no longer have their mothers here with them. I pray that you search in your heart today and hear the sweet whisper of your mothers voice in your ear tell you that she is always with you each and every day.


May God Bless YOU!