In The Blink Of An Eye...

things could change. Literally.  Everything was fine on Saturday; we shopped, she played, we shopped some more, she ate, she napped, & she played again.  I noticed she was a little hot, but she's always sweating, it's what she does. I laid her in her crib, covered her bare legs & feet, so she wouldn't be cold and off to sleep she went.

There is nothing like being startled from your sleep by the sound of someone calling your name in a concerning tone.  I jumped up, because that's what I've learned to do and what I saw next changed the course of my days to come.  I felt like my feet were stuck to the floor, I couldn't move fast enough, my mind went blank, I couldn't remember numbers or names, my hands shook. "What's the number to 911" literally I asked the question because I didn't know, couldn't recall.

Her face was blue, grey; eyes fixated towards her eyelids, arms extended straight, and her body rocked... Back and forth. A slow, rhythmic motion. I knew something wasn't right. "Feel her chest" my sister said, I placed my hand on the heart. That strong little heart that was fixed almost 2 years ago and it felt as though it was about to explode out of her chest. The beating rate wasn't normal It was too fast. Heart attack?  I couldn't be sure but I knew she needed help.

Toya began to bag her, I pulled out my cell but I knew that might delay help. I searched for the house phone (for this very reason is why I won't cut it off) it wasn't on the charger. Suddenly, Juwan handed me the phone. He'd already dialed 911, the connection was quick, the operator understood what I needed. I tried to remain calm, so that I wouldn't give out the wrong info. The training I got from the vent team at U of M kicked in. I remembered, "tell them you have a trach baby, it's critical information". Toya continued to bag, giving out directions the whole time. Juwan and I ran back and forth through the house trying to find what was needed. She was the calming voice I needed. I followed her instructions, when my body didn't do what my brain was thinking.

I called my parents, put on some clothes, gathered emergency supplies and waited for help to come. They arrived, Mylah wasn't any better. One held her head, the other her lower half.  They walked in unison, sideways. They guided her frail, seizing body out the front door. Loaded her onto the stretcher,  into the back of the EMS. Under bright lights there she was seizing, biting down, eyes wide open.  In the back of the EMS I began to pray. I asked God to allow her more time.

Mylah has had seizures before but NEVER like this.

She arrived at the hospital, was given some medication, it didn't help. Another dose, still nothing, the 3rd time was a charm.  I stood in the corner of that room and watched them as they worked on my 14lb. child. I tried to give as much information as they needed. Hoping for answers. She had a fever of 106, her heart rate got above 200.

The nurses in the room noticed the little pink painted toenails. I painted them for her 2nd birthday pictures. The pictures I edited but hadn't printed or mailed. I kept telling myself that I'll get to it tomorrow, and I stood in that emergency room as they worked on my baby wondering what if tomorrow doesn't come?  I felt bad for putting it off.

She stopped seizing, I answered lots of questions. Some of them 3 or 4 times. The nurse said they cut her onesie off and asked if I wanted it. "No", I replied. I wanted no memory of this moment. I already had the image of her helpless seizing body in my mind, I didn't need a material reminder.  She needed to be transported to a different hospital.  She was stabilizing, the medicine was helping.

As soon as she was getting ready for transport she started to seize again. More medicine was given. She was loaded into another EMS; one for kids, babies, sick babies that need help and she needed help.

I prayed she would get the help she needed.....

It's been very hard for me to get my thoughts together. It's so much going on and I'm pretty frustrated at times. I just ask that you continue to pray for Mylah. Pray for answers and clarity. Pray for a full recovery. I will continue this tomorrow. Thank you!