No cake or party, but still it's something to celebrate. I was able to reflect on so much yesterday. When we entered the doors of U of M CS Mott Children's hospital on July 5, 2012 I knew our lives would change, but I never expected the road to be as rough as it was.
Our stay at the hospital opened my mind to so many things and other perspectives that I never considered & I gained an abundance of knowledge.
It's funny because so many things; music, seasons, movies, & food, take me back to last summer. For example, Nas, (the rapper for those who don't know who he is) released an album last summer and there are a few songs that remind me of driving around Ann Arbor, trying to get away from those walls for a moment to clear my head. When certain songs play, they take me back to when my sister and I would ride down Washentaw Ave. trying to gain some sense of normalcy by shopping or going out to eat. I first saw the Hunger Games in Mylah's hospital room, so that movie will forever remind me of summer 2012, and Domino pizza thanks to Tiffany, who introduced us to their pan pizza & chocolate molten lava cakes.
I remember logging that my assigned chore was "complete" at the Ronald McDonald house each night, Toya and I deciding who would be staying with Mylah and who would go across the street to stay at the Ronald McDonald House for the night. I remember feeling bad for Juwan and missing him because he was staying at home all by himself. Although we only lived about 30 minutes away, it felt like we were hundreds of miles away from each other.
One night, Toya & I went home to stay because we had arranged a girls day at Painting With a Twist with some of our family & friends. We had been so used to staying at the hospital, so I looked forward to sleeping in my own bed and being back at home. The lighting in the house seemed to be dim and there was no happiness in it at all, just silence, an awkward silence. The house was clean and the only thing on the kitchen counter was Mylah's bottle warmer and her bottle station. Both hadn't been used in months. We were sitting at the table talking and Toya began to cry. She said that she didn't like the feeling the house had; it felt like there was no life, it felt sad. She was right. There wasn't any hope, or love in the house. It just didn't feel right sitting there trying to prepare for a fun day when Mylah was 30 minutes away in the hospital separated from her family. It was at that moment that I felt even more sad for Juwan because I knew that feeling was how he felt every day as he stayed home alone. When we talked that night, I brought up the feeling of the house, he said that all he wanted to do was to be able to make Mylah a bottle. That's all he wanted. Something so simple, meant so much.
I have a new appreciation for so much because of our Summer 2012 journey. You never know how much things mean or are needed until you find yourself or a loved one in need.
Handicap accessibility is so important to me; parking spaces, automatic doors, wider door openings were so over my head last year, but now they are a necessity to our lifestyle.
Vinegar has a new value to me LOL .. yes.. Vinegar & I thank GOD everyday for a double stroller.
I can't believe a year has gone by so fast. It really does feel like we just were discharged from the hospital. Those 89 days were life changing for me. The Mina that left home on July 5, 2012 wasn't the same Mina that returned on October 2, 2012. She was much more wiser, stronger, understanding, and grateful than before.
A piece of my heart still remains in Ann Arbor. Each time we go for an appointment, I look at the faces of the parents, the children, the grandparents and I am taken back in time. Each family that walks through those doors enter with one thing in their hearts… HOPE… HOPE for good news, HOPE for a cure, HOPE for a diagnosis, HOPE for a healthy baby, HOPE for things to work in their favor, HOPE that THIS is the last time. I just say a prayer for those who remain, who don't get to come home, those who don't get the good news, those who can't get a diagnosis, & those who enter but don't get the opportunity to leave with that same HOPE they entered with.
As always I thank everyone for their love & support. I make it a point to always let our supporters know that we love them and appreciate everything.
This journey has shown me what I am made of, it has helped me realize I was made for this story. I'm thankful for every step that we've taken and am always looking forward to the next chapter.
|Such a Big Girl!!!! 18 months!
|Having fun… I think :)