Back to our regularly scheduled program.....

Tomorrow I return.. back to work... back to the grind... back to the 9-5 (7-3:30 in my case)...

I worked a full 41 weeks and 1 day before I left on maternity leave. I worked the day before I was induced. I remember before I left telling people that if they had questions about my work to call me; how I wouldn't mind... So glad that not everyone took me up on my offer!  I'm kind of excited to return to work. I miss my friends and co-workers. I miss the organized chaos of corporate America.

I'm interested to see how this is gonna work out. I left 31, pregnant, without a child, not knowing what would happen. I'm returning 31, with a little extra weight in the stomach area lol,  the mother of a Trisomy 18 miracle who is fighting to beat all odds that are against her.  I can remember sitting at my desk many days wondering if I would be returning with pictures & stories of how Mylah was growing or returning to hugs of sympathy because of her death. 

I've arranged my photo album; because I know that's the 1st question most will have.  I ordered a mouse pad with pictures of Mylah that should be here next week. I created a collage with my favorite pictures of her for my wall, and now her & Myles will have to share the space on my desktop. The only thing I'm thinking about is how fast I'm going to run out of that office at 3:30 to get home to my baby.

Friday we traveled back to the hospital to find out the results of the cardiology surgeons discussion as it relates to Mylah's candidacy for heart surgery to repair the holes in her heart.  Surprisingly I wasn't nervous until we were walking into the waiting room.  I'd made up in my mind that I was 99.9% sure that I wanted surgery for Mylah.  I prayed about it and asked GOD to send me signs on which way I should go.  Open heart surgery is a major surgery even for a baby without Trisomy 18.  God showed me that Mylah is supposed to be here. Look at all the things that people said would most likely happen by now that haven't come to fruition. She is one strong little girl, a little miracle! Each day he breathes air into her lungs is another milestone (she'll be 2 months on Thursday). 

I thought the hardest decision I would have to make was made on Friday, but low & behold, another hill to climb. The cardiologist informed us that they did discuss Mylah's options. 2 surgeons were willing to perform surgery if that's what we decided, but how they would go about it is the dilemma. One said that if he/she operated they would do the full open heart surgery. This would mean fixing the holes in Mylah's heart and the PDA. The other surgeon said that he/she would do Pulmonary Artery Banding surgery which entails placing bands around Mylah's arteries to protect her lungs; making it a little easier for her, also allowing her to grow a little more thus maybe opting for open heart surgery later on in her life.

Both surgeries have risks associated, but speaking with the physician he indicated that Mylah may be able to tolerate the Pulmonary Banding surgery a little better. Ultimately, it's another decision that we must make.  He (the cardiologist) was satisfied with Mylah's progress so a decision isn't needed right now. He indicated that she was actually doing a lot better than she was 2 weeks ago.  She is gaining weight (now 6lbs) which is a sign that her heart isn't stressing too much. So back to the LORD I go for more signs on which way we should go as we have come to another fork in the road.

Whatever decision we make I know it won't be an easy one. It's never easy for a parent to make a decision that affects their child's life.  You find yourself doubting every decision. There is no easy rationale.  Either decision has a major affect on Mylah's life and it's length, but just as God has guided my steps before I'm sure he won't leave me alone now.


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