Tears.....
are cleansing. Tears cleanse you from the inside out. However, not all tears mean sadness. A sister cries tears when seeing her nephew born into this world, A father cries tears when his son graduates college, A grandmother cries tears after her grandchild takes his first steps. A husband cries tears at the first sight of his bride.
Tears allow you to release whatever is inside of you. There are tears of happiness, tears of joy, tears of fear, tears of love, tears of triumph. I've been crying a lot lately. I've never been one to hold back my tears no matter the circumstance. They have a way of coming out. Tears don't equal defeat, they don't mean I'm giving up. My tears help me. They help me release the feelings I hold inside.
I was recently told to stop crying... Why? The child I'm carrying has been diagnosed with an abnormality that I've never heard of, I'm crying because I'm scared. My baby has a heart defect, I'm crying because I want to take away any pain & suffering that she may endure but I can't. Doctors have given up on my daughter before she's even taken her first breath, I'm crying because I'm angry. God is preparing me for my testimony, I'm crying because I'm anxious & thankful. My mother & father have both expressed how proud they are of me, I'm crying tears of joy. I listened to Marvin Sapp's He Has His Hands On You , I'm crying tears of confirmation, because I know nobody but GOD has given me the strength that I've acquired these last couple months.
My tears are for many reasons.
I have good days & bad days, but the good outweigh the bad. If you see me crying, just know that I'm not defeated, I'm not giving up. I'm traveling a journey down a road that I've never traveled before. I'm scared of what's to come & what will be. I'm trying to prepare myself for the days ahead. I'm remaining positive in GOD & his abilities. I know that HE knows that Juwan & I can handle this & I love HIM for believing in us. HE continues to Bless us & I'm crying because HE's an AWESOME GOD. I'm not worthy of the blessing HE has given me in Mylah. HE chose me to be her mother & of all the gifts that I've received, she is the ultimate gift. HE's made me a mother, Juwan a father & her life is the greatest gift that we could ever receive.
Tears are okay, they help me heal & I'm pretty sure there will be many more tears to come.......
Tears allow you to release whatever is inside of you. There are tears of happiness, tears of joy, tears of fear, tears of love, tears of triumph. I've been crying a lot lately. I've never been one to hold back my tears no matter the circumstance. They have a way of coming out. Tears don't equal defeat, they don't mean I'm giving up. My tears help me. They help me release the feelings I hold inside.
I was recently told to stop crying... Why? The child I'm carrying has been diagnosed with an abnormality that I've never heard of, I'm crying because I'm scared. My baby has a heart defect, I'm crying because I want to take away any pain & suffering that she may endure but I can't. Doctors have given up on my daughter before she's even taken her first breath, I'm crying because I'm angry. God is preparing me for my testimony, I'm crying because I'm anxious & thankful. My mother & father have both expressed how proud they are of me, I'm crying tears of joy. I listened to Marvin Sapp's He Has His Hands On You , I'm crying tears of confirmation, because I know nobody but GOD has given me the strength that I've acquired these last couple months.
My tears are for many reasons.
I have good days & bad days, but the good outweigh the bad. If you see me crying, just know that I'm not defeated, I'm not giving up. I'm traveling a journey down a road that I've never traveled before. I'm scared of what's to come & what will be. I'm trying to prepare myself for the days ahead. I'm remaining positive in GOD & his abilities. I know that HE knows that Juwan & I can handle this & I love HIM for believing in us. HE continues to Bless us & I'm crying because HE's an AWESOME GOD. I'm not worthy of the blessing HE has given me in Mylah. HE chose me to be her mother & of all the gifts that I've received, she is the ultimate gift. HE's made me a mother, Juwan a father & her life is the greatest gift that we could ever receive.
Tears are okay, they help me heal & I'm pretty sure there will be many more tears to come.......
Testing the comment section....
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely beautiful words!! Its touched my heart n im not one to ever show emotion especially a tear. Ive always felt the events in my life have made me the stone cold person i am n change was never n option. Ur strength is so amazing n so inspiring to me. I am always so angry cuz it always always seems tht the greatest most beautiful ppl go thru the worst things in life n it never seems fair. As i read ur words i find it impossible to feel angry. U have such a positive
ReplyDeleteoutlook and are very inspiring. As a mother myself i can only imagine wut ur going thru..... keep ur head up cuzin i wish u the very best. THANK U!
Mina God will work on Mylah while she is still in the
ReplyDeletewomb. We know that God has all power and despite what the doctors say we know God has the final say so (by his stripes we are already heal). We be praying for you, your husband and Mylah. Quintele
Mina, it is so inspiring to see that you still give glory to God, trusting in him and his work, having faith, and being open and honest so that you can give us your testimony.. so many thoughts are running through my mind .. I have always looked up to you.. Tears are coming to my eyes because I see something so beautiful! GOD at his finest, working on all of our hearts, building stronger relationships. I love you and Gods will be done.
ReplyDeleteXoxo Monique
Dearest Mina,
ReplyDeleteI am so glad we can now post a comment, I guess I am technically challenged and was not able to add a comment. Like did I know it wasn't just me, oh yea, I tried, but then you had to change the settings, THANK YOU!
I just love your blog, because you can express yourself and you are releasing those FEELINGS, there is freedom in getting it out. You are also telling your story in your words, what better way to express yourself so others can know what you are going through and experiencing. You are truly helping yourself, but others as well, especially me, your mother. You are planting a seed, sometimes we never see the fruit, but rest assured God sees.
I have a comment for all your posts but I won't go back right now, but there are a few things I want to say. First I am so proud, you and Juwan are truly walking in faith and courage. Sometimes we can't even walk in our own strength and then the enemy just wants to dwell in our mind and thoughts and try to take control. The enemy wants us to be in isolation, shame, secret and in guilt, but there is freedom in Jesus Christ. The enemy was even using the person who stated to you to stop crying. People have been taught not to cry or share their emotions, keeping them in bondage. Just keep that person in your prayers, I will. Who the Son set free is free in deed. The enemy has NO power, God does, and God will carry us, like He is doing right now. I just love your post about "Footprints". Just know we as a family are going through with you and Juwan. God is preparing ALL of us. He is speaking and guiding each and everyone of us in different ways. We are all having our struggles, but I thank God that I can cast all my cares and worries at His feet, for He hears our prayers and will answer. Prior to your post that Wednesday, I was having my own struggles. I was reading Psalms 142, because that is how I was feeling. Then I begin to pray. “Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from him” (Psalm 62:5). God doesn't always answers our prayers immediately, but the next day you posted "Footprints". His confirmation to me was He is carrying us in His arms. There is no better place right now then in His arms, close to His heart, close to His ear and in His warm loving embrace. The safest place! Safe and secure. Keep in mind while we are close to his heart and ear, He is close to ours as well. He is the ultimate "interior decorator". So be still at times to hear what He has to say and how He is leading and guiding you.
Lastly, I just feel so honored to be a part of your life and this journey with you. I remember that my mother was not there for me during my first pregnancy, because she was out of state. Oh how I needed her and missed her. So I want to be there EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. I was also so honored to be asked to take the pictures of you and Juwan.
Love You Always,
Mylah's Grandmother
Mina,
ReplyDeleteYour Mother, who is my dear friend, shared the link to your blog. I just finished reading about you, your husband's and Mylah's journey. So beautifully written and such a gift to all of us to be able to read your thoughts, your perspective...and to share your pain.
There was one thing I don't agree with however. You said "I am not worthy of the gift He has given me in Mylah." I disagree. You are so worthy Mina, so wonderfuly worthy. Of all the women that God could have chosen to be Mylah's Mother...He chose you, because He knew that you would cherish her very special life...even if in the midst of such a great challenge.
I hold you in my heart and in my prayers as you move through the coming months until Mylah's birth. May God comfort and keep you in His care, encircled with His Love and the love of family and friends. -from Carol Moore